Why "Weaknesses" Are a Myth and Why Investing in Your Strengths is a Smarter Choice

We live in a culture that’s obsessed with what’s broken. Somehow, criticizing and pointing out flaws is considered a sign of intelligence. From an early age, we’re trained to default to this lens. It becomes our operating system: focus on what’s not working, work hard on it, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll be praised.

But even if you're not, at least you’re staying within the lines. You're staying controllable.

In today’s world, it is an act of pure courage to recognize your strengths, focus on them, and believe in yourself. And that’s because many systems, society, institutions, even families and friendships, have historically operated on a model of approval-seeking. If others can convince you that you’re incomplete or flawed, they retain control.

This isn’t to say they’re doing it maliciously. Often, it’s unconscious. We are conditioned to seek validation. And in our early years, this served a purpose, approval did keep us safe, fed, and cared for.

But we’ve grown up now. Haven’t we?

If you’re ready to reclaim your self-belief, your joy, and your freedom, keep reading.

The Default to Fixing

Scroll through social media, performance reviews, or even your own self-talk, and you’ll likely find the same narrative: "Fix this. Improve that. Stop being so ____. Try harder at what you’re not good at."

We’re flooded with content like “7 Ways to Be a Better Negotiator” or “How to Recover from Burnout”, but how often do you see advice like this:

"Learn to love your strengths. Build a life around them."

We’ve been told that we’ll succeed only by improving our weaknesses. But what if that story is outdated, incomplete, incorrect and actually harmful?

The Positive Psychology Shift

In the late 1990s, psychologist Martin Seligman introduced a radical shift in the field: instead of just diagnosing what’s wrong, what if we studied what helps people flourish?

This became the foundation of positive psychology, the scientific study of well-being, meaning, strengths, and optimal human functioning. Rather than asking, "How do we fix people?", it asks:

"What makes life worth living, and how do we create more of that?"

At the heart of positive psychology lies one core insight: people grow more when they focus on their strengths than when they try to correct their weaknesses.

And it’s not just theory. This is backed by decades of data, including Gallup’s global research on engagement and performance using the CliftonStrengths assessment.

Gallup defines a strength as the ability to consistently produce near-perfect performance in a specific activity. Strengths are rooted in your natural patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving, your talents.

The CliftonStrengths 34 assessment, which I use in coaching, helps people identify and understand these talents. When individuals invest in them intentionally, they become more confident, productive, and fulfilled.

According to Gallup:

• People who use their strengths daily are 3x more likely to report an excellent quality of life

• They’re 6x more likely to be engaged in their work

• They’re more resilient, energized, and successful

  
  

And yet, most of us have been conditioned to ignore what’s working and zero in on what’s not.

Why We Focus on the Negative

The answer lies partly in neuroscience. Our brains have what’s known as a negativity bias, a survival mechanism that helped our ancestors stay alert to threats. But today, that same mechanism turns inward: we ruminate on flaws, relive criticism, and downplay what’s going well.

As neuroscientist Rick Hanson says:

“The brain is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones.”

This bias is reinforced by education, corporate feedback systems, and media. But it’s not a truth, it’s a habit.

There Are No Weaknesses (Only Signals)

Let’s reframe the concept of “weakness.”

What if what you call a weakness is actually one of the following?

1. A Strength in the Wrong Seat

Imagine someone with the strength of Empathy. They’re brilliant at sensing the emotions in a room. But in a high-stakes meeting requiring decisiveness, they hesitate, tuning into every nuance, weighing every perspective. Not because they lack leadership, but because they unconsciously led with the wrong strength for that moment.

That’s not a flaw. It’s a misalignment.

Coaching helps build strengths agility, the ability to choose when and how to use each strength.

2. A Limiting Belief or Environmental Mismatch

Sometimes a "weakness" is just a bad fit between you and your environment. You’re in a role that doesn’t value what you’re best at, or you're navigating a culture that doesn't see you.

That disconnect is exhausting. It can even lead to burnout or coping behaviors like overworking or people-pleasing. But beneath that is often an underused strength, suffocated by the wrong context.

3. A Call for Healing

What we call weaknesses are sometimes invitations. Patterns, triggers, or recurring struggles can signal the need for self-compassion and deeper healing.

I once worked with a client who felt crushed by a lack of trust from her manager. She doubted herself constantly and left every interaction drained. As we unpacked it, we uncovered echoes of early trauma from a similarly dismissive dynamic. What she needed wasn’t to “toughen up”, it was to reclaim her power, set boundaries, and prioritize her own wellbeing.

Where Strengths and Joy Meet: Flow

Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi defined flow as the state of complete absorption in an activity, where time disappears, effort feels effortless, and joy rises.

Flow arises when we use our natural talents, are challenged just enough, and feel aligned with what we’re doing.

Studies show that investing in your strengths can lead to performance growth up to 7x greater than trying to improve a weakness. It’s not just smarter, it’s more joyful.

The Courage to Believe in Yourself

Here’s the deeper truth:

It takes courage to believe in your strengths.

It’s safer to self-criticize. It’s more socially accepted to stay humble, small, unsure. But to say:

"I’m done fixing who I’m not. I’m investing in who I am."

That takes boldness. That takes leadership.

And no, it doesn’t mean ignoring your limitations.

Sometimes it looks like saying:

• “I’m not passionate about Excel, I'll collaborate with someone who is.”

• “I’m not great at small talk, but I thrive in deep 1:1 conversations.”

• “Maybe I’m not ‘job-hopping’, maybe I crave variety and growth.”

• “Maybe I’m not ‘slow at making decisions’, maybe I care deeply about quality, accuracy and safety.”

  
  

This is awareness. And it’s the first step to freedom.

Investing In Your Strengths

I'm not recommending pretending everything is perfect. We all have blind spots, and we all have areas to grow in.

But we don’t need to strive to be well-rounded. We need to be radically partnered.

You’re not broken. You’re not too much. You’re not falling behind.

You’re wired in a specific way. When we understand and lead from that design, we simply come alive.

That’s what my coaching is all about. I offer strengths-based coaching packages that include full access to the CliftonStrengths 34 report, a personalized debrief session, and transformational coaching support for your life and leadership.

If you're feeling stuck, self-doubting, or simply ready to stop pushing against your own grain, let’s rediscover your strengths.

Let’s redefine your “weaknesses.”

Let’s build a path forward that feels joyful.

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Hi, I’m Monika, Strengths Coach and facilitator. I help individuals and groups cultivate resilience, emotional intelligence, and well-being through strengths-based coaching. Passionate about transformative and creative leadership, I empower leaders to drive meaningful change within themselves, their organizations, and beyond.

I hope you’ll visit often, and I look forward to connecting and working together!