A friend once handed me a reframe so simple it has followed me for years.   I complained that I never bring my son a beach chair because he never sits with us anyway. My friend paused and said: "Maybe he doesn't come to sit because you don't have a chair for him."   That sentence keeps rearranging my leadership brain. It casually revealed a pattern that shows up everywhere: we often mistake absence for disinterest, when it's really about the conditions we've created, often un

“I'm stuck.” I hear this in conversations about careers, relationships, leadership, team development, community work, basically wherever we humans are trying to do brave things.. while having nervous systems. Here is what I came to believe: stuckness  often isn’t a lack of options. It’s not even a lack of courage . It’s a devotion to thinking , specifically, the belief that if we think long enough, we’ll eventually earn certainty… and then we’ll move. Except we don’t move. W

Your brain’s first instinct is to mistrust your strengths . CliftonStrengths matters precisely because it gives that suspicious brain something concrete to work with, so you can move from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What’s available in me?” in a way that’s grounded in research, not wishful thinking . ​ From “what’s wrong?” to “what’s strong?” CliftonStrengths grew out of a deceptively simple but radical move in psychology: instead of only cataloguing problems, Don Clifton sp

Some of us are wired for harmony. Wait, all of us are. From an evolutionary standpoint, our brains are wired for connection and for minimizing social threat. Harmony can be external, when the people and systems around us are in sync, or internal, when our thoughts, values, and actions feel aligned. Both create serenity and flow. But harmony left unchecked can slip into avoidance. Not because we’re weak, but because as humans we associate tension with danger. Our nervous sys

For thousands of years, cultures around the globe have told a version of the same story: the hero leaves home, faces trials, slays the dragons, and returns with treasure that saves the community. Joseph Campbell called this the Hero’s Journey, and it has shaped our imagination of what leadership should look like. Even today, we unconsciously expect ourselves as leaders to embody this myth. We look up to that elusive notion of a heroic solver of all problems, the one who leave

A few days ago, driving my son home from basketball practice, I decided to share something I’d been reflecting on from Joseph Nguyen’s...

A Creative Leadership Meditation on Tenderness, Gentleness, and Relearning Self-Compassion We teach what we most need to learn. And lately, what I’ve needed to relearn, and to teach, is tenderness. Gentleness toward self. Towards the parts of ourselves that are raw, tired, doubting, regretful. The parts that want to perform, impress, produce, solve problems. Same parts that probably just want to rest but don’t know how. When I speak with leaders about the idea of being gentle

Here is a deceptively simple question: What is the opposite of helplessness? But let’s take it one step at a time. We All Come to Work to...

“I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn’t say any other way—things I had no words for.” — Georgia O’Keeffe When I say “leadership,” I couldn’t be further from political headlines, hierarchical ladders, or the alpha-performance model that often comes to mind. The kind of leadership I believe in, and coach clients into, is not about titles. It's not about charisma an it is not about control. It’s about creating the world we need , a world rooted in purpo

Great leadership requires humility, it means recognizing that the route you took to success isn’t the only valid route. When we hire...

We live in a culture that’s obsessed with what’s broken. Somehow, criticizing and pointing out flaws is considered a sign of...

Do you really know who you are as a leader? Far too often, we step into leadership because we excelled at our last role. Maybe we were...

Is there a difference between healthy striving and perfectionism? Absolutely. One is rooted in growth. The other, in fear . As Anne Lamott puts it, perfectionism “leaves us pretzelized.” It distorts us. Exhausts us. And most of all, it keeps us from starting, or finishing, what really matters. It may also leave us used, omitted, and abandoned, by others, yes, but mostly by ourselves. By others, because who wants to live in constant comparison to something that’s not real,

Thriving and happiness are often used synonymously, but positive psychology distinguishes them in meaningful ways. Ha ppin ess is typically understood as a fleeting emotional state, moments of joy, pleasure, or satisfaction. Thriving , on the other hand, is a deeper and more sustainable state of well-being. It encompasses not just positive emotions but also a sense of purpose, engagement, and growth. Psychologists like Martin Seligman, a pioneer of positive psychology, descr

Pay close attention, what I’m about to share could free you from years of unnecessary stress, doubt, and emotional fatigue. In simple...

When did you realize that no one else was to blame? That the voice of doubt, criticism, and sabotage wasn’t coming from the outside, but...

In a world saturated with likes, shares, and applause, the pull of external validation can feel inescapable. Yet when we’re caught in this cycle, the moments between the hits of approval or admiration often feel strangely empty, and that’s the best-case scenario. They can feel much worse. Liberation from this cycle is an act of reclaiming our power . “What’s the greater risk? Letting go of what people think … or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am?” Brene B

If I were to begin and end my blogging journey with just one article, it would be this one. Believing in ourselves is the most important...

Avoid trying to mimic someone else, be it a guru or a role model, as this approach rarely works. Success comes from being authentically you.

When was the last time someone truly listened to you, not to fix, judge, or offer an opinion, but simply to witness you, with openness and without expectation? Many of us go through life feeling unheard, constantly adapting to meet the expectations of others or to navigate the demands placed on us. A coach offers something rare, an opportunity to be fully seen and heard, with empathy and without judgment. In that space, you’re guided to safely explore your unique thought p