A creative leadership lesson from parenting a teen, and managing adults Teen boys are a masterclass in paradox. Developmentally, they’re wired to push for autonomy: “I need space. Please go now.” And at the same time, secure attachment (feeling safe, seen, understood) remains a protective buffer for mental health and risk-taking. So you also get: “Nobody gets me. You don’t get me.” It’s a seemingly impossible dynamic: “Don’t come closer… and don’t you dare leave me” I started

“I'm stuck.” I hear this in conversations about careers, relationships, leadership, team development, community work, basically wherever we humans are trying to do brave things.. while having nervous systems. Here is what I came to believe: stuckness  often isn’t a lack of options. It’s not even a lack of courage . It’s a devotion to thinking , specifically, the belief that if we think long enough, we’ll eventually earn certainty… and then we’ll move. Except we don’t move. W

The days between Christmas and New Year’s have a way of telling the truth. When the inbox quiets and the calendar loosens, something else gets loud: the quiet dread of going back to work. Not because we dislike effort or contribution, but because a part of us knows we’re returning to a pattern we’ve outgrown. Stuck, bored, helpless, overwhelmed, or an unhelpful cocktail of all four. As humans we often reach inner crossroads long before our calendars admit it. In the winter hu

Ideas are fragile things. They arrive soft, incomplete, easily startled, like small animals stepping tentatively into the open. And yet most of us, meet them with reflexive judgment. We evaluate, categorize, critique, or dismiss them before they’ve even taken their first full breath. Too expensive. Too risky. Too unrealistic. We tried that. We don’t do that. Not the right time. We don’t notice how fast we do it. We don’t notice how many ideas we kill. And we almost never ask

Your brain’s first instinct is to mistrust your strengths . CliftonStrengths matters precisely because it gives that suspicious brain something concrete to work with, so you can move from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What’s available in me?” in a way that’s grounded in research, not wishful thinking . ​ From “what’s wrong?” to “what’s strong?” CliftonStrengths grew out of a deceptively simple but radical move in psychology: instead of only cataloguing problems, Don Clifton sp

There’s a moment many seasoned leaders quietly recognize: “I have all the tools. So why does this still feel so hard?” You’ve read the books, attended dozens of training programs, survived the 360s. You know how to run a team, an organization, a transition, a strategy session. And still, some problems don’t respond to what you already know. These are the moments when the challenge isn’t asking for another framework – it’s asking you   to grow. Not horizontally (more skills, m

Conflict can be creative. There is no creativity without tension. Constraints matter. Yes, there’s risk. But if your team looks to you for facilitating their collective creativity, the sooner you can learn to appreciate conflict, the better. When I say to be “good with conflict ,” I don’t mean being aggressive or initiating conflict. I mean that when it arises, and we know it inevitably does, we can meet it with calm, curiosity, and a gentle detachment from our own stance, an

Some of us are wired for harmony. Wait, all of us are. From an evolutionary standpoint, our brains are wired for connection and for minimizing social threat. Harmony can be external, when the people and systems around us are in sync, or internal, when our thoughts, values, and actions feel aligned. Both create serenity and flow. But harmony left unchecked can slip into avoidance. Not because we’re weak, but because as humans we associate tension with danger. Our nervous sys

For thousands of years, cultures around the globe have told a version of the same story: the hero leaves home, faces trials, slays the dragons, and returns with treasure that saves the community. Joseph Campbell called this the Hero’s Journey, and it has shaped our imagination of what leadership should look like. Even today, we unconsciously expect ourselves as leaders to embody this myth. We look up to that elusive notion of a heroic solver of all problems, the one who leave

Don’t know about you, but lately I’ve found that rest alone isn’t enough. When our nervous systems are exhausted, when our calendars keep demanding, when leadership feels like sprinting a marathon, simply sleeping more doesn’t always restore us. What I’ve been reaching for are two other forms of nourishment: dreaming and exercising the “hope muscle.” It's Gloria Steinem who once said: “Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreami

A few days ago, driving my son home from basketball practice, I decided to share something I’d been reflecting on from Joseph Nguyen’s...

Or why getting lost with a good partner might be the best leadership move you make this week. It was a Sunday, and I was craving a hike....

I watched an interview with musician and songwriter Phil Cook recently, where he said something that stuck with me: “When you’re...

It’s Friday afternoon. You’ve worked hard all week, but instead of feeling accomplished, you feel wrung out. It’s not the workload that...

“I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn’t say any other way—things I had no words for.” — Georgia O’Keeffe When I say “leadership,” I couldn’t be further from political headlines, hierarchical ladders, or the alpha-performance model that often comes to mind. The kind of leadership I believe in, and coach clients into, is not about titles. It's not about charisma an it is not about control. It’s about creating the world we need , a world rooted in purpo

Do you really know who you are as a leader? Far too often, we step into leadership because we excelled at our last role. Maybe we were...

Whether we speak or remain silent, show up or withdraw, every action, or inaction, sends a message. Communication isn’t just about what we say; it’s also about what we don’t say. Silence, hesitation, and avoidance are just as communicative as words. And in leadership, these unspoken messages often speak the loudest. “One cannot not communicate.”  — Paul Watzlawick Avoiding hard conversations erodes trust. When we sidestep giving feedback, delay naming tension, or choose silen

Thriving and happiness are often used synonymously, but positive psychology distinguishes them in meaningful ways. Ha ppin ess is...

In a world saturated with likes, shares, and applause, the pull of external validation can feel inescapable. Yet when we’re caught in this cycle, the moments between the hits of approval or admiration often feel strangely empty, and that’s the best-case scenario. They can feel much worse. Liberation from this cycle is an act of reclaiming our power . “What’s the greater risk? Letting go of what people think … or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am?” Brene B

Avoid trying to mimic someone else, be it a guru or a role model, as this approach rarely works. Success comes from being authentically you.