What Is Happiness? The Simple Brilliance of a Complex State
- kawkapc
- Mar 28
- 8 min read
Updated: Apr 14
A much-discussed and often worn-out topic, and yet, one that holds a quiet, awe-worthy brilliance in how its deep complexity can, surprisingly, be understood and explained.
Is there anyone among us who hasn’t wondered how to be more happy? At some point, we’ve all searched the internet and found an overwhelming dose of advice, theories, and websites telling us how to “get it.”
From the meaning of life to hormone-boosting tricks, we’re told how to manufacture happiness, joy, and pride. And yet, the answers only breed more questions, especially the hardest one: how do you sustain happiness?
Let’s take a closer look at this mysterious, perplexing, and essential state of being.
Understanding Happiness
A word so simple, yet so elusive. We chase it, long for it, and measure our lives by it. But what exactly is happiness? Is it a fleeting emotion, a stable state of mind, or a deeper sense of fulfillment?
Let’s explore happiness, its connection to joy and thriving, and what neuroscience and leading thinkers like Arthur Brooks and Eli Finkel say about it.
What Is Happiness?
According to Eli Finkel, a professor of psychology at Northwestern University:
“It seems to me that happiness is some blend of the experience of pleasure and the experience of meaning and fulfillment in life. I think much more of the latter than the former.”
Happiness is often mistaken for pleasure, but they aren’t the same. Pleasure is a fleeting sensation, like eating a delicious meal or basking in the sun. Happiness, however, is more enduring and nuanced.
Researchers now use the term thriving to measure lasting happiness across the world. I explore thriving more deeply [here], including Gallup’s and Bhutan’s approaches, both of which emphasize that happiness is multidimensional and cultivable.
From a neurological perspective, happiness is tied to the activity of key neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins. These brain chemicals influence our mood, motivation, and sense of connection.
But does that mean happiness is purely biological?
The Neuroscience of Happiness
Happiness isn’t just a feeling, it’s a pattern in the brain. Studies have linked happiness to the activity of the prefrontal cortex (associated with decision-making and planning) and the limbic system (responsible for emotions).
Practices like gratitude, mindfulness, and nurturing strong relationships can rewire the brain for positivity.
Arthur Brooks, often called the “Professor of Happiness,” emphasizes that happiness isn’t about luck. It’s something we cultivate, built on:
Enjoyment – deep appreciation beyond surface-level pleasure
Purpose – meaning that gives direction to our lives
Satisfaction – fulfillment from appreciating what we already have
The Role of Brain Chemicals in Happiness
Let’s dive into the brain’s happiness toolkit, four key neurotransmitters:
Dopamine – The Motivation Molecule
Produced in the brain’s ventral tegmental area and substantia nigra, dopamine is responsible for pleasure and goal-seeking behaviour.
Boost it by:
Setting and completing small goals
Engaging in creative projects
Practicing gratitude
Listening to music
Serotonin – The Mood Stabilizer
Synthesized from tryptophan in the brainstem, serotonin influences mood, sleep, and emotional balance.
Increase it through:
Exposure to sunlight
Exercise and meditation
Social bonding
Eating foods rich in tryptophan (e.g., salmon, nuts, eggs)
Oxytocin – The Love Hormone
Produced in the hypothalamus and released via the pituitary gland, oxytocin fosters connection and trust.
Activate it by:
Hugging and physical touch
Acts of kindness
Time with pets or loved ones
Endorphins – The Natural Painkillers
Released by the pituitary gland during stress or physical activity, endorphins promote euphoria and relieve pain.
Stimulate them with:
Exercise (especially intense cardio)
Laughter
Spicy food or dark chocolate
Music and dance
Understanding these chemicals empowers us to intentionally create experiences that elevate our happiness.
Is Happiness the Absence of Negative Emotions?
Many people assume that happiness means never feeling sad, angry, or anxious. However, neuroscience and psychology suggest that this view is incomplete.
True happiness involves experiencing a full range of emotions and developing the ability to navigate them effectively.
Emotional Contrast: Neuroscientific research supports the idea that experiencing negative emotions like sorrow and difficulty enhances our ability to appreciate positive emotions like joy. Without contrast, the experience of happiness would be diminished.
Acceptance of Discomfort: Studies show that individuals who accept negative emotions rather than suppressing them tend to experience greater long-term happiness. This acceptance allows for emotional growth and reduces the negative impact of stress.
Resilience Over Perfection: Happiness is not about avoiding discomfort or striving for perfection. Instead, it arises from how we respond to life’s challenges. Practices like mindfulness and self-compassion are scientifically proven to build resilience, enabling us to navigate adversity with greater ease.
In conclusion, happiness isn’t the absence of sadness; it’s the ability to find meaning, joy, and growth despite life's inevitable challenges.
Misconceptions About Happiness
Is there anything wrong with being “easily pleased”? You’ve probably noticed that some people seem content with a simple cup of tea, while others need a mountaintop view and five-star service to feel the same joy.
We often use “easily pleased” dismissively, implying a lack of ambition or sophistication. But what a gift it is to take pleasure in the simple things, to recognize them, to notice them, and to share them.
I grew up in 1980s Poland, during an economic crisis in Eastern Europe. My own memories of happiness bring me back to two aunts who would buy a newspaper, make tea, and sit together laughing at the stories they found. I don’t remember what made them laugh but I remember the warmth. Their joy made me feel welcomed, safe, and hopeful in an otherwise grey world.
Still, there’s a prevailing belief that happiness must be earned through hardship. That only by overcoming giants, slaying dragons, and enduring pain can we truly deserve the treasure.
As philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer said:
“Life swings like a pendulum backward and forward between pain and boredom.”
Pain comes from wanting what we don’t yet have. Boredom arises once we get it and the thrill fades.
Recognizing this cycle can help us savor the present and realize that happiness often lives in the ordinary.
A dear friend once told me: “Happiness is our natural state. Stress, worry, and pain are just visitors.” I find this perspective comforting, and actually scientifically valid.
Our bodies constantly strive for equilibrium, and in many ways, happiness is our baseline when we’re not overwhelmed.
The Happiness Paradox
Almost everyone agrees: we want to be happy. Yet the more we chase happiness as an end goal, the more elusive it becomes.
A study by Ford et al. (2015) found that obsessively pursuing happiness can actually make people feel less happy, because they become overly focused on what’s missing, rather than what’s present.
So instead of chasing happiness, we might do better to cultivate presence, gratitude, and acceptance, and let's take a look at yet another approach.
More on the The Happiness Paradox – Inspired by The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck*
We live in a world that constantly tells us we’re not enough. Not successful enough. Not happy enough. Not loved enough. There's an ever-present pressure to chase more, more joy, more meaning, more positivity. But ironically, this endless pursuit might be the very thing keeping us from experiencing happiness at all.
As Mark Manson writes in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck*,
“The desire for a positive experience is in itself a negative experience.”
The more we chase happiness, the more we reinforce the sense that we don’t already have it. That something is missing. Paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience. When we stop resisting pain, sadness, or discomfort, and simply allow them, they lose their power to define us. In fact, they can teach us.
This is what philosopher Alan Watts called the backwards law, the idea that the more you strive to feel better all the time, the less satisfied you become. Because the very act of striving highlights a sense of lack.
The more you desperately want to be rich, the more poor and unworthy you feel—regardless of how much money you actually make. The more you long to be loved and happy, the lonelier and more fearful you become—regardless of who surrounds you. The more you chase spiritual enlightenment, the more self-absorbed and disconnected from the present moment you may become.
Even Albert Camus hinted at this beautifully:
“You will never be happy if you continuously search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”
Put simply? Don’t try so hard.Happiness is not a destination, it’s a way of relating to life as it is.
And as Manson also points out, happiness doesn’t come from avoiding problems. It comes from solving the right ones. We don’t get to avoid pain, but we do get to choose the struggles worth having.
In his words,
“Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for.”
So instead of chasing comfort or ease, maybe we’re meant to choose the kind of “pain” we’re willing to carry, challenges that feel meaningful, relationships that require effort, goals that stretch us.
That’s where the deeper kind of happiness lives: not in escaping discomfort, but in embracing it, engaging with it, and turning it into something worthwhile.
Do We Find Happiness or Create It?
The answer is: both.
Happiness isn’t something we stumble upon by accident, it’s something we build through our choices. Relying on external factors like money, status, or achievements makes happiness fragile.
But cultivating an internal locus of control, believing we shape our own experience, makes happiness more accessible and enduring.
People with a strong internal locus of control tend to be more resilient and report higher well-being. They see challenges as opportunities rather than barriers.
Final Thoughts: Happiness Is Both Art and Science
Happiness is not a destination but an ongoing practice. It’s a blend of biology, mindset, and intentional action, a mix of joyful moments, a sense of meaning, and the capacity to move through life’s challenges with resilience.
Scientifically speaking, happiness is experienced through frequent positive emotions, which are linked to the activity of key neurotransmitters in the brain: dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins.
These chemicals shape how we feel, connect, and respond to our environment.
It's possible to cultivate habits and practices that help maintain healthy levels of these neurotransmitters, making feelings of happiness more frequent and sustainable.
In my experience, two principles make a particularly powerful difference:
First, addressing feelings of belonging and isolation, because connection is core to our well-being.
Second, getting out of your head when negative thoughts spiral, by grounding yourself in the right action, presence, or connection with others.
Ultimately, happiness is deeply influenced by our thoughts and shaped by our brain’s activity. But we’re not passive in this process, we can intentionally choose activities, relationships, and perspectives that support a more joyful and fulfilling life.
Of course, happiness also holds a profound spiritual, philosophical, and religious dimension, explored in rich and diverse ways across cultures and centuries. That wider perspective deserves space of its own, perhaps a future post.
So, do we find happiness or create it? Both. We find it in the quiet, beautiful moments.
We create it by the way we think, connect, and live.
What brings you happiness today? And how might you create more of it tomorrow?
Hi, I’m Monika, Strengths Coach and facilitator. I help individuals and groups cultivate resilience, emotional intelligence, and well-being through strengths-based coaching. Passionate about transformative and creative leadership, I empower leaders to drive meaningful change within themselves, their organizations, and beyond.
I hope you’ll visit often, and I look forward to connecting and working together!
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