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Is It True That We Are Not Our Thoughts?

Writer's picture: kawkapckawkapc

Updated: 3 days ago

Pay close attention, what I’m about to share could free you from years of unnecessary stress, doubt, and emotional fatigue. In simple terms: You are not your thoughts. Say it to yourself three times, because fully grasping this can be a transformative step toward inner peace.


Yes, the brain is powerful, and when we focus on our goals, we can bring them to life. But it’s not our thoughts alone that create change, it’s our actions. And if our actions are shaped by the habitual narratives of our inner critics and saboteurs, staying calm, creative, and responsive to life’s challenges becomes difficult. Instead, we fall into reactive patterns.


Not only that, we also generate emotions in response to our thoughts, even though those thoughts are often illusions. They stem from memories of the past or imagined futures, yet they trigger real emotions, which drive our actions and create more thoughts, trapping us in familiar cycles.


But there is a way to break free.


What is mindfulness?


I discovered yoga long before mindfulness became a buzzword. Initially, I expected nothing more than a good stretch, and I got that, but there was an unexpected bonus. Yoga gave me a break from the relentless chatter in my mind. In those moments, I experienced a deep sense of inner spaciousness and a calm that, even if briefly, stayed with me.


It was a fascinating discovery, but the currents of busyness pulled me away, and for a long time, I drifted from my practice. Thankfully, life has a way of guiding us back to what we need. My wake-up call came one May during Mental Health Awareness Month in Canada when I stumbled upon a simple yet powerful reminder at work.


Bold posters declared:


"Don’t trust everything you think."

Those words stopped me in my tracks and lingered, ultimately inspiring a renewed commitment to my mindfulness practice.


Now my favorite practices are many: affirmations, photography, writing Morning Pages, hiking and walking, to name a few. They help us ground ourselves and stay present.


My Interpretation


In my contemplative photography musings, I sometimes use the hashtag ShakeOffTheVillage, inspired by the words of Henry David Thoreau:


“I am alarmed when it happens that I have walked a mile into the woods bodily, without getting there in spirit. In my afternoon walk, I would fain forget all my morning occupations and obligations to society. But it sometimes happens that I cannot easily shake off the village. The thought of some work will run in my head, and I am not where my body is, I am out of my senses. In my walks, I would fain return to my senses. What business have I in the woods, if I am thinking of something out of the woods?”

At times, our minds feel like a whirlwind of chatter or fog, other times, they can be downright tormenting. We truly can be our own worst enemies, as if a never-ending anti-us conference was taking place between our ears.


Learning strategies to ground ourselves, observe the mental noise, and reconnect with our bodies can be life-changing, offering us a way to break free from the cycle.


And returning to Thoreau's quote, there’s nothing wrong with loving our “village.”

Shaking it off simply means fully arriving in the present moment, and aligning our mind with where our body is.


Mentors in Mindfulness


There are so many great teachers who can help us understand the nature of our thoughts.

My favourites include, but are not limited to, Michael Singer, Pema Chödrön, and Eckhart Tolle.


Tolle writes:


“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive. To put it more accurately, it is not so much that you use your mind wrongly ,  you usually don’t use it at all. It uses you. This is the disease. You believe that you are your mind. This is the delusion. The instrument has taken you over.”

image by Monika Kawka

“When you observe the mind, you begin to realize there is a vast realm of intelligence beyond thought, that thought is only a tiny aspect of that intelligence. You also realize that all the things that truly matter :  beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace — arise from beyond the mind. You begin to awaken.”

Pema Chödrön emphasizes that we are the open, spacious potential beyond our thinking minds. Here is what she says:


"When you practice staying present, one thing you’ll quickly discover is how persistent the story line is. Traditionally, in the Buddhist texts, our tendencies with their habitual story lines are described as seeds in the unconscious. When the right causes and conditions come together, these preexisting propensities pop up like flowers in the springtime. It’s helpful to contemplate that it’s these propensities and not what triggers them that are the real cause of our suffering.


I had a dream about my ex-husband: I was just settling down for a quiet evening at home when he arrived with six unknown guests and then disappeared, leaving me to take care of them. I was furious. When I woke up, I thought ruefully, “So much for being finished with anger: I guess the propensity is still there.”


Then I started thinking about an incident that had occurred the previous day, and I began to get furious all over again. This completely stopped me in my tracks, and I realized that waking or sleeping, it’s just the same.


It isn’t the content of our movie that needs our attention, it’s the projector. It isn’t the current story line that’s the root of our pain; it’s our propensity to be bothered in the first place."


Learn to Interrupt Your Thoughts


The practice is to train in not following the thoughts, not in getting rid of thought altogether. That would be impossible.

—Pema Chödrön


When I practiced meditation according to Pema’s instructions, my mind, of course, wandered. Her guidance in those moments was simple: gently label the thoughts as “thinking” and return your awareness to the out-breath. It never takes long to realize just how full your mind is, at times, it feels like dozens of thoughts swirling all at once. What exactly is going on in there?


She often refers to editation as calming the "drunken monkey mind," a vivid term rooted in Tibetan Buddhism that perfectly captures the chaotic, restless chatter of our thoughts.


[For anyone, especially creatives, grappling with this inner noise, I also highly recommend a fantastic book: Shut Your Monkey: How to Control Your Inner Critic and Get More Done. It’s a practical guide to quieting that relentless inner critic and reclaiming focus and productivity.]


I visualized putting each thought on a cloud and letting it float by. Slowly, I began to experience brief moments of open, spacious peacefulness within me. I had tasted the sweet experience of moving beyond my thoughts.


We Are Not Our Thoughts - Helpful Conundrum


Michael Singer always helps me reinforce this practice with a smile. He teaches that the mental dialogue going on inside our heads never stops. It’s constant.


But if we can hear the voice, then we cannot be the voice.


As Singer writes:

“You are not your thoughts; you are aware of your thoughts. You are not your emotions; you feel emotions. You are not your body; you look at it in the mirror and experience this world through its eyes and ears. You are the conscious being who is aware that you are aware of all these inner and outer things.”

It’s so empowering to remember that we are not our thoughts. This is where our freedom lies. We are not prisoners of our minds. Instead, we can enjoy the space of possibilities and choices that exist far beyond our mental chatter.


The Chatter Is Not You


Another teacher whose wisdom deeply resonates with me is Thich Nhat Hanh. He often reminded us that while education emphasizes developing our thinking and intellectual abilities, it rarely nurtures our capacity for mindfulness.


As adults, we often fall into what he called “Non-Stop Thinking” (NST):

“There’s a radio playing in our head, Radio Station NST: Non-Stop Thinking. Our mind is filled with noise, and that’s why we can’t hear the call of life, the call of love. Our heart is calling us, but we don’t hear. We don’t have the time to listen to our heart.”

The Importance of Self-Awareness


All of this is crucial for developing self-awareness and authentic self-worth. If we believe and trust everything we think, we risk being absent from our lives, caught up in worry about the past or fantasy about the future.


Our minds concoct stories, but we don’t have to live in them.


Instead, we can cultivate mindfulness, embrace the spaciousness within us, and listen to the wisdom of our hearts. By doing so, we free ourselves from the chatter and step into the vast realm of possibilities and choices available to us in each moment.


I’m in the process of becoming, in the process of evolving. I’m neither doomed nor completely free, but I’m creating my future with every word, every action, every thought.

—Pema Chödrön


 

Hi, I’m Monika, Strengths Coach, facilitator, social-profit organization leader, and photographer. I’m here to help you own your vision for meaningful growth and transformation, uncover your unique leadership strengths, and empower you and your team to thrive and create lasting impact. Passionate about driving change within, around, and beyond, I love supporting fellow change-makers on their journeys.


bio portrait of Monika Kawka

I hope you’ll visit often, and I look forward to connecting and working together!

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