Leadership Is Creative Work: Conversations as Exhale

I watched an interview with musician and songwriter Phil Cook recently, where he said something that stuck with me:

“When you’re creating, it feels like relief. It’s like an exhale.”

I loved it because it’s not just true for music or art. It’s true for leadership too, especially when it comes to difficult conversations.

Today, I had to step into yet another one of those challenging, courageous conversations.

You probably know the kind of moment I mean: there’s been a tense buildup. You’ve been rehearsing angles in your head, trying to align your intentions with a dozen imagined scenarios. Part of you wants to shake it off, to pretend it’s not worth the weight. But it lingers. You keep circling back, reflecting on words exchanged, behaviours observed, patterns you wish weren’t repeating.

And, in my case, I was also about imagining the kind of collaboration I wish to experience, the collective intelligence I want to invite, but haven’t felt lately.

Eventually, I named it. I didn’t send an email. I made some notes and invited a conversation.

Why conversation, not email?

Two big reasons. And one truth worth remembering.

1. To invite curiosity. Email locks us into fixed narratives. A conversation opens space for nuance, surprise, and mutual learning. Curiosity is the birthplace of psychological safety.

2. To exchange perspectives. In real-time dialogue, we get to move beyond assumptions. We hear tone, see body language, and sometimes, if we’re lucky, make space for coaching moments and emotional clarity.

And here’s the truth to remember:

Conversations aren’t about work. They are the work. They’re not about work relationships. They are the relationships.

That’s why I didn’t email. Too often is aggravates the situations and simply it's a wasted opportunity.

A few hours later, we had a plan. The tension softened. The relationship strengthened. And yes, we both exhaled.

So, tell me again how leadership isn’t creative?

It really is and it’s also evolving. According to Gallup’s research, the most effective leaders today are moving from being bosses to being coaches.

Instead of directing and controlling, they’re focused on fostering trust, clarity, and two-way dialogue. Coaching leaders listen more than they speak. They help others discover answers instead of prescribing them. And most importantly, they create space for growth, not just output.

“Partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.” - definition of coaching by The International Coaching Federation (ICF)

This shift, from boss to coach, isn’t just a change in technique. It’s a deep identity transformation. It requires emotional agility, vulnerability, and the courage to let go of control.

It means trading certainty for dialogue, and authority for shared ownership.

It also means holding space for tension, discomfort, and what Gallup calls the “dynamic needs of a changing workforce.”

 Is Leadership Creative Work?

The Center for Creative Leadership has long documented the need for boundary-spanning, emotionally intelligent leadership. But another powerful model, The Leadership Circle Profile (LCP), goes further by explicitly distinguishing between two core dimensions:

• Creative Competencies – the kind of leadership behaviors that build trust, collaboration, systems thinking, and visionary results

• Reactive Tendencies – the fear-driven behaviors we fall into when we’re under pressure (e.g., controlling, complying, or protecting)

  
  

Courageous conversations demand that we lead from the Creative side of that circle.

Here are some of the Creative Competencies at play in real-time leadership dialogue:

Relating – staying present, listening deeply, and showing empathy even when emotions run high

Self-Awareness – recognizing your own inner reactions and choosing not to operate from reactivity

Authenticity – speaking truthfully and vulnerably, even when it’s uncomfortable

Systems Thinking – seeing the ripple effects of conversations beyond the immediate issue

Decisiveness – knowing when to name what’s not working, and having the courage to act

Every time you invite a meaningful conversation instead of avoiding or outsourcing it, you are activating the Creative part of your leadership. And, often, you’re disarming your own Reactive tendencies, like over-controlling, withdrawing, or needing to be right.

“The ability to have an honest conversation is a predictor of both performance and trust.”— The Leadership Circle Profile

The irony? What feels risky in the moment, vulnerability, truth-telling, pausing for connection, is what builds lasting psychological safety and team effectiveness.

So yes, courageous conversations are creative work. And they're the real measure of transformational leadership.

The Skills Beneath the Surface

In this one conversation, I had to summon:

• Respect — for myself and the other person

• Accountability — for my part in the dynamic

• Clarity — around roles, goals, and expectations

• Trust — that we could repair, recalibrate, and co-create

• Tolerance for the unknown — because I can’t control the outcome

  
  

How comfortable are you with the last one?

As a leader, we can’t do the work alone. We have to trust others. Which means: we're vulnerable. Which means: so are they.

There are no guarantees. Just the courage to show up and the grace to stay open.

New Leadership Is Relational, Creative, and Human

Forget command-and-control. We’re being asked to lead through complexity, ambiguity, and continuous change. Globally - we have sustainability goals to reach.

And that means we need new skills, many of which fall under what the Inner Development Goals framework calls:

• Relating

• Being

• Acting with purpose

  
  

Leadership is creative work. And courageous conversations? They sit at the heart of all three.

So What’s the Invitation?

Let’s exhale.

If you’re navigating tough dynamics, leading through complexity, or trying to grow without burning out, I see you.

Reach out if you’d like support. This is the kind of leadership coaching I do: deep, relational, and creative.

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Hi, I’m Monika, Strengths Coach and facilitator. I help individuals and groups cultivate resilience, emotional intelligence, and well-being through strengths-based coaching. Passionate about transformative and creative leadership, I empower leaders to drive meaningful change within themselves, their organizations, and beyond.

I hope you’ll visit often, and I look forward to connecting and working together!