“I'm stuck.” I hear this in conversations about careers, relationships, leadership, team development, community work, basically wherever we humans are trying to do brave things.. while having nervous systems. Here is what I came to believe: stuckness  often isn’t a lack of options. It’s not even a lack of courage . It’s a devotion to thinking , specifically, the belief that if we think long enough, we’ll eventually earn certainty… and then we’ll move. Except we don’t move. W

The days between Christmas and New Year’s have a way of telling the truth. When the inbox quiets and the calendar loosens, something else gets loud: the quiet dread of going back to work. Not because we dislike effort or contribution, but because a part of us knows we’re returning to a pattern we’ve outgrown. Stuck, bored, helpless, overwhelmed, or an unhelpful cocktail of all four. As humans we often reach inner crossroads long before our calendars admit it. In the winter hu

Leadership today carries a lot of complexity . This one is rarely named out loud. Especially in small organizations, family-business cultures, tight-knit communities, or purpose-driven teams, leaders often face an invisible emotional field, a quiet expectation to become more than a manager. Leaders tell me: “Some people want me to be their parent .” “It feels like they want a therapist, not a leader.” “If I don’t provide constant emotional attunement, I’m accused of not cari

Ideas are fragile things. They arrive soft, incomplete, easily startled, like small animals stepping tentatively into the open. And yet most of us, meet them with reflexive judgment. We evaluate, categorize, critique, or dismiss them before they’ve even taken their first full breath. Too expensive. Too risky. Too unrealistic. We tried that. We don’t do that. Not the right time. We don’t notice how fast we do it. We don’t notice how many ideas we kill. And we almost never ask

Your brain’s first instinct is to mistrust your strengths . CliftonStrengths matters precisely because it gives that suspicious brain something concrete to work with, so you can move from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What’s available in me?” in a way that’s grounded in research, not wishful thinking . ​ From “what’s wrong?” to “what’s strong?” CliftonStrengths grew out of a deceptively simple but radical move in psychology: instead of only cataloguing problems, Don Clifton sp

There’s a moment many seasoned leaders quietly recognize: “I have all the tools. So why does this still feel so hard?” You’ve read the books, attended dozens of training programs, survived the 360s. You know how to run a team, an organization, a transition, a strategy session. And still, some problems don’t respond to what you already know. These are the moments when the challenge isn’t asking for another framework – it’s asking you   to grow. Not horizontally (more skills, m

Conflict can be creative. There is no creativity without tension. Constraints matter. Yes, there’s risk. But if your team looks to you for facilitating their collective creativity, the sooner you can learn to appreciate conflict, the better. When I say to be “good with conflict ,” I don’t mean being aggressive or initiating conflict. I mean that when it arises, and we know it inevitably does, we can meet it with calm, curiosity, and a gentle detachment from our own stance, an

Some of us are wired for harmony. Wait, all of us are. From an evolutionary standpoint, our brains are wired for connection and for minimizing social threat. Harmony can be external, when the people and systems around us are in sync, or internal, when our thoughts, values, and actions feel aligned. Both create serenity and flow. But harmony left unchecked can slip into avoidance. Not because we’re weak, but because as humans we associate tension with danger. Our nervous sys

For thousands of years, cultures around the globe have told a version of the same story: the hero leaves home, faces trials, slays the dragons, and returns with treasure that saves the community. Joseph Campbell called this the Hero’s Journey, and it has shaped our imagination of what leadership should look like. Even today, we unconsciously expect ourselves as leaders to embody this myth. We look up to that elusive notion of a heroic solver of all problems, the one who leave

I watched an interview with musician and songwriter Phil Cook recently, where he said something that stuck with me: “When you’re...

It’s Friday afternoon. You’ve worked hard all week, but instead of feeling accomplished, you feel wrung out. It’s not the workload that...

“I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn’t say any other way—things I had no words for.” — Georgia O’Keeffe When I say “leadership,” I couldn’t be further from political headlines, hierarchical ladders, or the alpha-performance model that often comes to mind. The kind of leadership I believe in, and coach clients into, is not about titles. It's not about charisma an it is not about control. It’s about creating the world we need , a world rooted in purpo

How to replace dread-inducing reviews with talent, engagement, and belonging It’s Time to Retire the Old “Performance Machine” Picture...

Do you really know who you are as a leader? Far too often, we step into leadership because we excelled at our last role. Maybe we were...

Even if you’ve never watched Grey’s Anatomy , there’s a scene that captures something important about leadership. Dr. Cristina Yang,...

You’ve felt it before, that moment where everything in you wants to speak up, but something holds you back. Maybe it’s fear of conflict,...

Whether we speak or remain silent, show up or withdraw, every action, or inaction, sends a message. Communication isn’t just about what we say; it’s also about what we don’t say. Silence, hesitation, and avoidance are just as communicative as words. And in leadership, these unspoken messages often speak the loudest. “One cannot not communicate.”  — Paul Watzlawick Avoiding hard conversations erodes trust. When we sidestep giving feedback, delay naming tension, or choose silen

Thriving and happiness are often used synonymously, but positive psychology distinguishes them in meaningful ways. Ha ppin ess is...

Pay close attention, what I’m about to share could free you from years of unnecessary stress, doubt, and emotional fatigue. In simple...

Navigating today’s leadership landscape requires new leadership skills , it's not just about solving problems but about mastering the...