Why Leaders Need Both Empathy and Perspective-Taking (and How to Do It)

Why slowing down, asking better questions, and being present still changes everything.

In leadership, we often talk about communication, influence, and strategy. But what lies beneath all of these? Empathy.

Leaders need empathy. Not as a soft skill or a side note. As a core competency. As a daily practice. As the beginning of everything that matters: trust, influence, connection, collaboration, and change.

In a world that rewards speed, certainty, and control, empathy remains a radical act.

And yet, without it, leadership becomes brittle, disconnected, and ultimately unsustainable.

Why leaders need Empathy?

Empathy is not about fixing. It’s not about agreeing. And it’s certainly not about centering ourselves by jumping in with “me too.”

Empathy is presence. It’s listening and being with someone, not with your interpretation of their story, but with them. It’s staying and listening long enough to understand before reacting, advising, or withdrawing.

Empathy fuels:

• Trust by creating a felt sense of connection and safety. As Brené Brown’s research shows, trust isn’t built in grand gestures, it’s built in small moments of attunement, when someone feels seen, heard, and valued. Empathy is the act of climbing into another’s emotional world and saying, “I’m with you.” It dissolves isolation and replaces judgment with understanding. When leaders respond with empathy, not fixing or dismissing, but simply being present, they send a powerful message: you matter here. That’s the foundation of trust, brick by brick, moment by moment. Gallup and Edelman research also confirms that trust in leadership drives engagement, retention, and performance. Trust starts with feeling seen and understood.

• Inclusion: Empathy fuels inclusion by breaking down the invisible walls of assumption, bias, and othering. Recent research in organizational psychology shows that when leaders actively practice empathy, listening to understand rather than respond, team members feel a stronger sense of belonging and psychological safety. Empathy allows us to step outside our default lens and consider experiences we haven’t lived. It transforms “them” into “us.” As one leader shared after sitting in a circle with colleagues from vastly different backgrounds: “For the first time, I stopped trying to fix or defend, and simply listened. That changed everything.” Inclusion begins not with policy, but with presence. Empathy is what opens the door. Deloitte and HBR highlight empathy as a driver for inclusive leadership. It checks bias, widens perspective, and fosters belonging.

  
  

• Innovation: Based on IDEO’s human-centered design approach, empathy fuels innovation by grounding creative problem-solving in real human needs. Instead of designing from assumptions or expert knowledge alone, empathy invites us to observe, listen, and feel with the people we’re designing for. This deep understanding uncovers unspoken frustrations, unexpected desires, and emotional truths that data alone can’t reveal.

  
  

  IDEO’s design teams often begin by walking in the shoes of users, quite literally. In one example, a designer creating a new hospital experience lay in a bed and filmed the ceiling for hours, realizing patients saw nothing but blank tiles and fluorescent lights. That simple act of empathic observation sparked innovations that made care more comforting and dignified.

  Empathy doesn’t just lead to better ideas, it leads to the right ideas. It transforms innovation from cleverness to relevance. Because when we understand people deeply, we can create solutions that truly improve their lives.

  
  

What Happens Without It?

Without empathy, we default to assumption and reaction. We label rather than listen, and labeling collapses complexity into caricature.

We jump to solutions before fully understanding the problem. Over time, this erodes not only relationships, but the very fabric of effective leadership and collaboration.

At scale, the absence of empathy can lead to harm, inequality, and conflict, and, as we see in many corners of the world, even war.

At work, it leads to:

• A breakdown in trust

• A loss of psychological safety

• Fragmented team cohesion

• The collapse of long-term collaboration

  
  

Many leaders were never taught how to practice empathy. We were trained for output, efficiency, and analysis, not presence, listening, or discernment.

And that’s why this work matters. Because without empathy, we lose the very thing leadership is meant to protect: our shared humanity.

The Biology of Judgment (And Why We Can’t Just Turn It Off)

The amygdala, our brain’s threat detector, keeps us safe by scanning for danger. It’s fast, efficient, and utterly unsophisticated. It prefers clarity to complexity.

Judgment is its shortcut.

But in leadership and life, it keeps us small. When we judge, we reduce people to traits. Labels. Simplified narratives. And we miss the deeper truths.

The good news? While we can’t eliminate judgment, we can slow it down. Awareness and emotional intelligence help us pause the reflex and choose curiosity instead.

Empathy vs. Perspective-Taking

Daniel Goleman identifies three types of empathy:

• Cognitive empathy: Understanding another’s viewpoint

• Emotional empathy: Feeling what someone else feels

• Compassionate empathy: Being moved to help

  
  

Empathy helps us connect. But it can also distort, especially when we project our own story onto someone else’s pain.

Perspective-taking fills that gap. It’s the intentional act of understanding why someone feels what they feel. It requires humility, curiosity, and restraint.

In leadership, it’s the bridge between resonance and real change.

Together, empathy and perspective-taking move us from reaction to reflection, from judgment to discernment, from disconnection to depth.

Transformative Power of Empathy

In a complex, diverse, and fast-changing world, leaders must move beyond their own lenses.

Indigenous knowledge systems, religious traditions, and human-centered design all echo a shared truth: we are interconnected.

And with that interconnectedness comes responsibility.

Empathy and perspective-taking are no longer optional.

They are required to:

• Foster psychological safety

• Navigate difference

• Design equitable systems and services

• Build cultures of belonging

  
  

Empathy in Design and Leadership

As mentioned before, in design, empathy requires us to leave our assumptions behind. To create a compassionate hospital experience, you must lie in the bed. To understand urban accessibility, you must move through the city with wheels or a stroller.

This is not theoretical. It is embodied. It is emotional. It is essential.

In leadership, the same principle applies. You cannot coach a team if you refuse to see the world through their eyes. You need to get curious about how it feels to be on your team.

You cannot influence people you’ve judged and dismissed.

Empathy allows us to hold space. Perspective-taking allows us to act with insight.

What Empathy Is Not

• Empathy is not agreement. You can understand someone without endorsing their behavior.

• Empathy is not weakness. It takes strength to stay open.

• Empathy without boundaries leads to burnout. Self-awareness and discernment are essential.

  
  

Real leadership is not about absorbing emotion. It’s about recognizing it and responding with clarity.

Try This: From Labels to Questions

One of the most powerful shifts we can make as leaders is to recognize when we’re defaulting to labels, mental shortcuts that help our brains make sense of complexity, but often at the cost of empathy and insight.

Our meaning-making brains are wired to protect us. When faced with uncertainty or tension, they reach for clarity by categorizing: They’re difficult. They’re negative. They’re not a team player. But these labels flatten people. They turn nuanced human beings into fixed ideas.

And they shut down the possibility of change, connection, and trust.

What if, instead of labeling, we got curious?

Instead of: “They’re not a team player.” Ask: “What do they need to feel a sense of belonging?”

A Story from the Field

One of my clients, a thoughtful, well-meaning leader, was consistently frustrated by a team member who seemed resistant to every new idea. His go-to label was: “They’re just so negative.”

But when we introduced a simple reframing question, “What might they be afraid of losing?”, something shifted. The leader paused. Reflected. And then remembered that this employee was the primary caregiver for a child with special developmental needs.

Suddenly, the “negativity” took on a different meaning. What looked like resistance was actually a quiet, unspoken fear, fear that change might bring travel, longer hours, or training that would take time away from his child. Fear that innovation might come at the cost of the flexibility and stability his family relies on.

With this new understanding, the leader didn’t double down on the pressure to change, he started a conversation. He acknowledged the employee’s contributions, reassured him that support and flexibility would remain, and invited him to co-create solutions. The employee stayed engaged, and his trust deepened.

Empathy made that possible. A single question opened a new path.

Instead of: “They’re resistant to change.” Ask: “What’s at stake for them in this transition?”

This is not about making excuses for anyone's behavior. It’s about leading with clarity and empathy. It’s about staying curious a little longer, long enough to understand what’s really going on beneath the surface.

Because when we trade labels for questions, we don’t just change how we see others, we change how they experience us.

[I write more about SCARF model here to explain why we resist change - five universal social needs: status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness.]

Can You Learn Empathy and Perspective-Taking?

Yes. These are skills, not traits.

• Active listening: Seek to understand, not to reply.

• Exposure to difference: Engage with people, stories, and environments that challenge your worldview.

• Mindfulness: Recognize your own biases, narratives, and reactions.

• Feedback: Invite reflection on how others experience your leadership.

Empathy and perspective-taking are not just personal virtues. They are strategic leadership tools.

When practiced with courage, they move us from reaction to reflection, from judgment to discernment, and from defensiveness to connection.

They allow us to:

• Build trust in uncertain times

• Lead change with compassion

• Foster innovation rooted in real human need

  
  

The world needs leaders who can slow down, ask better questions, and hold space for complexity. Leaders who understand that transformation doesn't come from control, but from connection.

Invitation: Slow Down. Zoom In. Lead Differently.

If something in this article resonated, if you’re noticing places where empathy is missing, or where your leadership feels more reactive than reflective, this is your invitation to pause.

Slow down. Zoom in on a conversation, a relationship, a situation that’s asking more of you.

What story might you be missing? What lens might need adjusting?

If you’re ready to deepen your leadership through presence, discernment, and connection, reach out. Let’s talk.

I offer coaching and leadership development for people who want to benefit from the transformative power of empathy. One conversation can change everything.

[Contact Me] or [Schedule a Call]

References and Resources

• Joseph LeDoux, The Emotional Brain

• Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence

• Brené Brown, Atlas of the Heart

• Tasha Eurich, Insight

• Stanford d.school, IDEO: Design Thinking Models

• Deloitte & Harvard Business Review: Inclusive Leadership Research

---

Hi, I’m Monika, Strengths Coach and facilitator. I help individuals and groups cultivate resilience, emotional intelligence, and well-being through strengths-based coaching. Passionate about transformative and creative leadership, I empower leaders to drive meaningful change within themselves, their organizations, and beyond.

I hope you’ll visit often, and I look forward to connecting and working together!